This post is one of gratitude to God, without Whom I wouldn’t be alive today; to my mother and grandmother who planted the seeds of a faith that has helped me see beyond the worst of a situation, and helped me grow stronger in the face of adversity; and to the friends who, throughout the years and more recently, have patiently been by my side and forgiven more than I recount.
I look back at the days when you see someone you love slowly die. Reading the Bible together, the accounts of love and forgiveness, of an end to sufferings, gave us much comfort and much peace. I’m grateful for that.
I’m reflecting on the years of intense stress, being worried about every immediate family member, the heart beating harder when I see that my sister is calling me, and praying that it won’t be to tell me that my mother, too, passed away. Feeling helpless, yet hopeful.
Still in all, God has been good. The miracle hasn’t been the mountains and the stress magically going away. It’s been in having the strength to face them and deal with them one day at the a time, most time having the energy and wisdom I needed just for one day, waiting to open my eyes the next morning, to start the process again. I’ve experienced His grace through the friends He put in my life, who helped in so many ways, small and big, in a tangible manner or by offering the most needed moral support.
I think I can summarize what I’ve learned so far as follow: When I felt the most alone, I wasn’t.
5 Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.
6 As they pass through the Valley of Baka [Weeping],
they make it a place of springs;
the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
7 They go from strength to strength,
till each appears before God in Zion.
8 Hear my prayer, Lord God Almighty;
listen to me, God of Jacob.